Day Eight: What was your toughest decision you had to make?

This is going to be a short post because I still get really emotional about this topic.  I can never seem to stop the tears when I think of this circumstance and decision.

The toughest decision I had to make this year was going to Denver to say good bye forever to my niece, Addie back in August. 

Once Addie went into cardiac arrest during a procedure, doctors were pretty determined that Addie was not going to overcome this.  Doctors were against her and the statistics were not in her favor either.  I was at home in ABQ when she went on the ECMO machine (life support), and had to make the decision to go up to Denver to say good bye forever.  I knew that I needed to say good bye but I also knew that it would be to hard to see this little girl in such horrific condition.  I didn't want my last vision of her to be like this... I wanted to always remember her smiling and saying "Hi Auntie" with such enthusiasm.  Also I battled with "what do I say to her?" It's hard to think of your last words to someone when you have the chance... what if you forget to say something? What if you can't think of the right words to say?  What if she can't hear me? All these 'what if's' were cycling through my head the entire ride up to Denver.  But I made the toughest decision to go tell Addie everything she meant to me and more.  I had no idea what I was going to say but I already knew that she knows exactly how I feel about her.  I always tell her everyday what she means to me.  

I said my 'goodbye' but it wasn't forever!  It was 'see you later'!  Addie prevailed and will remain the love of my life for eternity.